Happy Horse Mom’s Day!

Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day everyone! This Mother’s Day many of us will be served breakfast in bed. Some of us will get cards and flowers or even chocolates, but there’s one thing that makes every mother smile, a great relationship with their kids and quality time spent together. The two go hand in hand.

Strong relationships rest on an investment in time. Of course, you also need to care for yourself. My mom had a rule; “take care of yourself first, then take care of your loved ones.” It was a good rule. If I don’t take care of my needs (including time to spend with my horse!), I start to get a little grouchy and that isn’t good for my family.

So, how to carve out time for ourselves while still taking care of our families? Below, I share some of the things I did when my kids were young.

Be creative—if, before kids, you were an active rider in your sport, it can feel like things are frustratingly on hold while your children are young. But, instead of a ‘horse life on hold’, think of these years not as downtime, but as some much needed play time. Kids have a way of opening our minds and hearts to the gifts horses share with us. I loved being with our two daughters and son in the barn. We’d ride through a small pine forest nearby or set up little jumps in our indoor. Ground poles became low oxers as we created ‘in and out’ gymnastic jumps…..ahhhh….I can see it all now. Gosh we had fun!

Teach life lessons—horses offer great opportunities to teach responsibility. Our kids learned how to muck stalls, feed and water their horses, brush unruly manes, and pick their horse’s hooves. Caring for a living creature is always beneficial to kids, but caring for a horse is even better. After all, the horse outweighs us by about a thousand pounds. He requires us to have focus and patience. If we’re to get along with him, we need to learn how to see the world through his eyes. Those are life lessons kids will never learn in a textbook!

Simplify—Outdoor sheds and pasture turnout helps to eliminate some of the daily chores, allowing for more horse time. And you’ll find your horse will thrive on all that extra turnout.

Turn drudgery into fun—As children get older, mothers and children can share chores and have fun doing them. Spring barn cleaning with family and friends can become a fun ‘work day’ with a picnic or cook-out to follow as a thank you. We did this every year and it was a great time to get together with everyone and share our horses with loved ones.

Join a group—the United States Pony Club and the 4-H Youth Development are both organizations that teach kids responsibility and how to stay safe around horses. Many breed organizations offer programs for kids as well. Groups offer the added benefit of support for the grownups. Share rides to shows and events, get help navigating the kid competitions, and share your triumphs and challenges as a horse-loving mom. It doesn’t matter if you’re a stay-at-home mom, a working mom, or a single mom…there’s someone just like you trying to juggle a horse life with kids!

Play first—Responsible adults do the chores first and play second, right? Well, yes….but sometimes chores have to take a back seat. Try riding first and then tackle the chores. You’ll be surprised how fast the work goes when you’ve taken time to ride first! And whatever doesn’t get done? Well, that’s what tomorrow is for, right?

Eliminate steps—As you do chores, think about how you can make things easier. Maybe you need a little lawn mower trailer to help you fill those water buckets or a paddock gate closer to the barn. Maybe it’s time to have the feed delivered instead of driving to the feed store.

Think safety—As a mom, I have to include a word about safety. It’s so easy to get distracted when children come to the barn with us, but we must remain vigilant. Children are small and even ponies are large in comparison. Anyone, who’s spent time around kids knows they’re impulsive. Plan on having one adult for every two children. Increase the ratio if your children have friends at the barn who are not all that horse savvy.

Finally, celebrate yourself! I can’t emphasize enough how important it is that you carve out mommy time for you. Whether you share babysitting time with a friend or race off to the barn while your husband cares for the kids, it’s crucial that you restore your emotional well-being. After all, we know that moms are the glue that holds everything together. Making time for yourself will make you a better mom.

Debbie Disbrow and freelance writer Karin Baril (www.karenbaril.com) have teamed up to write this article. If you have any comments, questions or ideas, we welcome them. Email us debbie@rammfence.com.

About Debbie Disbrow and RAMM Horse Fencing and Stalls